Honor your wife !

"The most perfect believers are the most good faith behavior, and the best of you is the best to his wife." (Narrated by At-Tirmidhi, hasan hadeeth shohih)

courtesy of Google

honor your wife as Allah's honor her in the Qur'an...

honor her by leading her to the path that ALLAH blessed...

honor her with gentle advised, as she was created from your crooked rib...

honor her with sincerity at a time when praying morning and evening...


The righteous woman is the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the Muslim family....she is the one who are nurturing your descendant...
Your kids will be a strong moslem if they grow up in the hand of happy mother in the home where a lot of tranquilise air.

(muliakanlah istri sebagaimana Allah memuliakannya dalam Al-Qur'an,

muliakanlah dia dengan mengarahkannya kepada jalan yang Allah ridhoi,
muliakanlah dia dengan menasehatinya dengan cara yang baik karena dia tercipta dari tulang rusukmu yang bengkok ujungnya,
muliakanlah dia dengan doa keikhlasan diwaktu pagi dan petang)

Being nice to others

"Who is helping another brother then Allah will write for him seven good for every step that he did" (Narrated by Tabaraani).

From Abu Hurairah r.a, from the Prophet (peace be upon him) said, "He who alleviates the suffering of a brother out of the sufferings of the world, Allah would alleviate his suffering from the sufferings of the Day of Resurrection, and he who finds relief for one who is hard pressed, Allah would make things easy for him in the Hereafter, and he who conceals (the faults) of a Muslim, Allah would conceal his faults in the world and in the Hereafter. God has always helped his servant who help his brother....." (narrated by Muslim)

On chilled morning January 30, 2012, I and my 3 sons have to get thru some processes in order to get my Kuwait resident visa.

We arrived around 9 am in my husband office but we have to wait for ~30’ before my husband came out with his HR friend. Then we drove to the building in Fahaheel, I have no idea what this building for, I can only read some words in the front mirror such as:

- health inssurance

- photocopy and typing

- finger print

- blood test

*only those I can remember*

I saw so many South Asia people, some African and some Philippines in queue.

There were 2 men working in the front desk who typing the registration form with manual typewriter another 1 man doing the copying and 1 man sitting in the small desk a little inside (maybe he is the supervisor cause he is only shouting.....hhmmm or maybe he is ordering his colleagues as the way Arabic people talking is in high pitch).

Can’t believe in this rich country on the decade of high technology they still use manual typewriter also the building is quite small (2.5m x 7m).

After we bought the KWD 10’s seal in the vending machine, we had to wait ~45’ to let them typing the registration form.

Then the HR man took us to the building next to the registration office. From my view this is look like hospital allocated only for the visa applicants. We went down to the basement, gave our registration form and passport to the locket and waited for ~10’ before they gave it back our passport with a small blood sample’s tube for me and my oldest son as he is already 12years.

Me and my 12y son went to the blood test queue while my husband took my 9y and 7y sons to the BCG vaccination’s room. I kept reminding my husband to tell the nurse that our sons have already had the BCG’ vaccine and which part of their body they had. But then he came back to me and asked me to come to the nurse as he couldn’t find the BCG’s shot in my sons body….as usual Mom is always the one that KNOWS everything in the family.... :)

I showed to the nurse and…..wallaaa…my kids doesn’t need another one…thanks GOD..

I came back to my queue and now it was only 2 women in front of me. I could see 2 Indian nurses who were going to take my blood. No smile in their face, they look so unfriendly. I could only praise if they will do it gently with me..... Frankly, I was a little bit nervous as I know some nurses in Arabic countries did it harshly. I had this experience before.

When my turn came and she put the needle in my vena….it happened again….she didn’t do it gently. Unfortunately it happened too with my oldest son.

After blood sample, we went to the other building across the road to have our chest x-ray. This chest x-ray is only for applicants who are older than 12y.

From the beginning until this step I never found a friendly sweet-face even only for a little tiny smile. This is an Arabic country where they know the hadith…the way our prophet (peace be upon him) teach us to be nice to someone else.

The Prophet said, "Your smile for your brother is a charity." (narrated by Bukhari).

smile makes a positive aura (courtesy of Google)

In another hadith it is mentioned that the smile is worship, "Smile when you meet your brother is a worship." (HR Trimidzi, Ibn Hibban, and Sufism).

From the chest x-ray we had to go to the other building in another area just to get my finger print. It took 10’ drive…don’t you think this process is so effective…  ;)

We arrived to the building and one humble nice man greeted us….

Ooo…it is like finding an oasis in the middle of you thirst…He served us nicely, I think he is the only one who know customer satisfaction… :)

Again he typed my data in his computer, this is the third times my data been input to the computer. I think they don’t have an online main database.

Then he asked me to go to the second floor. I went to the 2nd floor and found only Arabic sign….I really get lost…

Hopefully there is someone could help me….and I saw there were 4 men in guard uniform sit, talked and laughed. My husband asked them where I can have my finger print….in a high pitch voice with humiliated face he answered “It is closed!!!! Just get back tomorrow”.

outrages will only wasting your energy (courtesy of Google)

How could be !!! The guys downstairs just asked us to go here…then I took a deep breath and praised to Allah that HE will soften this men. I talked with them and asked again nicely…suddenly he said, “Just go to that room and ask them if they are still open.”

Why didn’t they do that at the first time we asked? Why they have to lose their energy with anger? And of course they already did bad deeds….may Allah forgives them.

Don’t they know that helping someone else is worship and a must for a good Muslim?

From Abu Hurairah ra, the Prophet, said: "He who fired a distress of a believer, Allah will remove from him a distress on the Day of Judgement. Any person who makes other people's business is easy, surely God will make it easier in the world and the Hereafter. Anyone who covered the disgrace of a Muslim, Allah will cover her shame in the world and the Hereafter. God always helped His servant for His servant helps his brother's love ". (Narrated by Muslim, see also the collection of hadith An Nawawi hadith Arba'in to 36).

We went to the room he pointed out…and it was still open…there are 3 women in black abaya in the locket….with no smiley face, she brought my passport and took me to the finger print machine…

This is the only high technology machine that they used in this whole processes I have been thru.

When I finished the finger print process, the HR man told my husband that I and my kids can go back home….what a release…

My husband and he went back the “hospital” building to get my 9y and 7y sons medical test result whilst we still have to wait another 10 days for me and my 12y son. What a long processes…

It turns out to be a very complicated bureaucracy process comparing to my own country Indonesia and even Libya….

However what I heard it will not happened if you are a western people who hold USA or UK passport…

The power of hug

courtesy of Google

Every school day I sat on the school bench waiting for my sons dismiss from the class...

I like to be there earlier so that the kids will see me everytime they're out from the class...

I also have a chance to opening my hand wide so I can capture my little son running and flying to me...

But last Friday something are not usual happened..

My little one was sitting on my lap and I was kissing, cuddling and hugging him as if he was still my baby...

Suddenly his Korean friend came toward us and open up my hand and put it in my lap..he sat on my lap..well,actually on my son lap as my son sat directly on my lap..

then he put it back my hand so that now embraced two boys...he was really enjoying being embraced..his face looks so happy, smiling til I can only see one little line in his eyes... :)

Somehow I fell that he never has this situation before.....being loving, hugging, cuddling as if he is still a baby..

He misses Mom's HUG...the most powerful energy in the universe..


note :
in the science it proves that hugging will increase the hormone oxytocin (a hormone for cardiovascular health) and subtracting the hormone cortisol (a hormone that causes stress and increases blood pressure).

 

Money can not buy

Abu Hurairah Radi'yallahhu 'anhu said: The prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, "talk nicely to a woman, because she is from a crooked rib, so if you're forced to straighten it by force it must be broken, and if you let certainly like that it will remain crooked, so advised her nicely. "(Narrated by Bukhari and Muslim)

To be a caring, loving, and romantic husband you do not need to be such a wealthy man...

It is inside your heart...

Sometimes money can not buy what you called real love....
How can you say that you LOVE someone if your behavior is unpleasant to her..
It needs an action to prove that you are really care of someone... even only a kiss before you left her to work...

courtesy of Google

The true L O V E

Men's LOVE is like a mountain. It is large, constant and (unfortunately) vulnerable. When it eruptes...it will produce the volcanic mudflow or hot ash which can destroy anything surrounding it.

Women's LOVE is like a nail. It is just small like finger nail but keep growing silently and slowly. If you cut it, it will keeps growing and growing and growing.

In the real life we see so many domestic bullying or harrasment happened to the wife...but those strong women be able to handling it...either being cheated of her husband affair, being hurt either with the sarcastic words or physical...

courtesy of Google

How bad her husband or her kids hurting her...she still can forgive... 

In her smile she is hiding her pain...

In her laugh she is hiding her sadness...

God created woman with a heart so tender, which could easily forgive (even though she will not forget the pain) no matter how big she faced unappropriate behaviours of the people she loved.
Women have been prepared since they were youth. When she had to feel the pain of menstruation, and so was pregnancy when she had to carry the burden that is not light for 9 months, then giving birth and breastfeeding ....

courtesy of Google

All of it can only be done by somebody whom God have been prepared to deal with it ...

 

So if someone says that women are weak creatures ..... it's wrong ...
How could you say "weak" if she could give such a FORGIVENESS that men (who's labeled as STRONG) won't be able to do it...

Precious time with Dad

I find some pictures that were taken long time when kiddoz are still little...
the time they spend with their Dad during his busy endless works...
hope it will mean something to them and it will be the most precious time for them...

@ Bali

@ Bandung

 

@ Pondok Indah home

@ Bandungan hotel

Forgiveness

"When my heart became constricted and my paths became narrow, I took my hope in YOUR pardon and forgiveness, as an opening and escape. My sins seemed very great to me, but when I compared them to YOUR forgiveness My Lord, I found YOUR forgiveness to be greater."  (Imam Ash-Shafi'ee)

courtesy og Google

A Loving Caring Dad...

This morning I got something unusual from my Facebook...a touching note that makes my tears drop.

A story about nurturing our kids. How LOVE plays role in our life.

Here are the story   *free translation from the article by Neno Warisman*

When my first son was born, he has a dark skin like his father. I told to my husband, "Subhanallah (God Heaven), he is just looked like you." My husband replied, "Is that really what you one right. If the boy you wanna be like me." I nodded and he went back to his work as usual.

I named my son Ahmad following the Prophet (peace be upon him) calls. Year after year he grows up as a smart boy like his Dad. We are so proud of him.

We celebrated his 5th birthday by inviting our big family to our home. But somehow Ahmad felt so bored and frustrated with his party. He just wanted to play with his Dad who was so busy walking around talking to all the guest. Suddenly he climbed his Dad's back and it made his Dad was so angry. I did not know why my husband acted like that. Perhaps he thought that Ahmad is not a little boy anymore.

Then Ahmad felt down from his Dad's back because his Dad didn't want to hang around with him. It made his face red, burst into tears. On his 5th birthday he was hurt and humiliated. His Dad done something unpleasant to him. Since that day he became so quiet boy, joyless and like to stay in his room alone. He changed into an anger boy.

courtesy of Google

I attempted to discuss this with my husband but he has no interest. He was drowning with his paper, working with his due thesis. He said that he did not want to get involved with a SMALL problem. Astagfirullah (may Allah forgive him).

Time went by, Ahmad has graduated from his bachelor degree. He married and gave me a grandson. When his wife gave a birth his first son, she told him,"Honey, he is look like you. He has a dark skin." Ahmad was offended and with no attention said," Is that as you want, if boy you wanna be like me. It is not my fault but your wish."

I was there listening the conversation. It shocked me, felt like dejavu for me. I felt something burn in my heart.

Oneday we visited Ahmad's home. Ahmad junior was in his hand. Suddenly Ahmad was so upset because the little innocent baby boy was leak on his hand. He shouted to his wife,"Why don't you put a diapers to him." Then he handed over his baby to his wife roughly and went rushed to the bathroom to clean up his clothes.

My husband kept reading his newspaper not bothering et all with the atmosphere. I felt something want to explode from my chest. The hard pain I buried for years melt down. I was cried out loud. I grabbed the newspaper my husband read and told him,"Do you remember what's happening on Ahmad's 5th birthday. You slammed Ahmad to the floor just because you don't want to be bothered. I ask you to fix it but keep saying you are busy. Do you listen what Ahmad just said? Do you? He doesn't like his baby leak on him. He feel strange to his own son."

O Allah, bestow blessings upon the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

courtesy of Google

Oh my prophet (peace be upon him), I want my son following you, behave like you, admiring you.
You carried your grandsons on your back, you chased them and played with them, you even looked at a kid when his bird pet was died. You are the one who also told a mother who took her sons very rough from your lap just because the baby leak at you, "This dirt can be wiped out, but can you replace the soft nerves that broke in his head?"
You are a noble man that has a soft heart...

I staring at my husband who is glued. I looked at my son that stood still like a hard rock. I looked at them, tears dropped from my eyes. I can not be desperate from God mercy.

Then I hold my husband rigid hand, I walked him close to Ahmad and put his hand on Ahmad's hair. Let him stroking his son's hair. Ahmad was so trembling, shaking, he never felt this soft lovely touch from his Dad for a long time....

I said to both of them, "Please do this for the one who can be passed away anytime. I can't give anything except LOVE. Please give your LOVE for every baby boy who are going to born and will give you your next generation. Do it for a big changes in our family and the rest of the world. There won't be any PEACE in this world if you never teach your son LOVE, affection, intimacy speech, caring. Not only a lesson for being valiant but has no HEART...

There was a tears in the eyes of those two sturdy men. Not easy to to change something that being stuck for years...but there is no word for being LATE..and I believe God will help you to solve your problems.

Now those two men start to learn for being a good grandpa and father. Carrying the baby, changing the diapers and even pretending to masterpiece his future...thanks God you always be there when I need you...

courtesy of Google

Now their laugh fill my heart with happiness. I entrust my three men I love to YOU, someday when I meet you my prophet (peace be upon him) I just want to say, "I try as hard as I could to ask my son to be like you."

I do LOVE Allah

I found this nice touching poem that reminds me how bad I am as HIS creature.....

courtesy of Google

I knelt to pray but not for long,

I had too much to do.

I had to hurry and get to work

For bills would soon be due.

So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,

And jumped up off my knees.

My Muslim duty was now done

My soul could rest at ease.

All day long I had no time

To spread a word of cheer.

No time to speak of Allah to friends,

They'd laugh at me I'd fear.

No time, no time, too much to do,

That was my constant cry,

No time to give to souls in need

But at last the time, the time to die.

I went before the Lord,

I came, I stood with downcast eyes.

For in his hands God held a book;

It was the book of life.

God looked into his book and said

Your name I cannot find.

I once was going to write it down...

But never found the time

(source: unknown)

Aisyah the True Beauty

Finally after I hold my patient for the last one year...I found this book..
this book is not a new one but seems the publisher out of stock and underestimate the launching of this book...

 

I was so exciting to read it until the last chapter...

This book was written to let the Islam woman take a lesson from her.

Like tasting the yogurt..you will feel the sour, sweet and bitter of her life.

She was still young when she married prophet Mohammed (peace and blessing be upon him) and she has been chosen by Allah....however she is so precocious.

She is brightly smart, she can remember most of the Hadith and Quran.

She becomes the guru for people who want to learn about Hadith as she is the one who spend more time with prophet Mohammed (peace and blessing be upon him).

One of ayah in Quran was revealed when she was in bed with her husband.

The other one was revealed when she has being slander for doing adulterous.

The mixing of her childish nature, her jealousy and her strong character make her having such a beautiful  mind as a woman.

This book is really good for us as an Islam women.

Make her as our figure to reflect ours and spur on us to become as 'smart' as her..